Newcastle 3-3 Manchester City Match Report: Punches in bundles


Looking back is twenty twenty and I would be kidding you if I wrote that I knew what would happen. Not me. But I can’t be happier that it ended like this.

They knew where Newcastle came from: a five-zero loss to that very Manchester City side – with the exception of Erling Haaland – at the end of last season on the cozy confines of St James’ Park, no less.

They knew Eddie Howe, if ever, had had a tough time against every Big Six team in the past, let alone Sky Blue.

They knew Newcastle were fielding the same eleven used in all games that Baby Premier League season for the second year running and virtually the third year running, with the only addition of Nick Pope and (later) Sven Botman standing Performance for Newcastle without a single signing – let alone a brand new striker – in the squad or on the field.

You knew everything, so the starting line-ups didn’t surprise you one bit.

What I was trying to say with the introduction above is that yesterday and for the first time since I’ve been covering Newcastle here CHN, I wasn’t watching the game with my notepad and pen next to me. I didn’t watch the game pause and rewind incessantly, trying to get the smallest details, tactical and technical, right. I decided I would do that (again not lying here) because on Sunday night my sister would be packing to move so I might have to help with something and also because for once I was just relaxing and enjoying the show would like these two teams to play now and/or in the future on our televisions, radios, laptops, etc.

And for some reason the football gods were happy with my mindset and hella gave me the most exciting and wildest matches I could have imagined.

I fired up my Kindle Fire, opened DAZN and realized that I had disabled my Wi-Fi setting so I would be missing a few minutes as it takes a while for my phone and tablet to exchange data. First world problems I guess.

I was very disappointed to see Premier League officials decide the game should start 1-0 in favor of Manchester City, what a pity!

However, there was still a full game to play. And let me tell you, as surgical as Kevin De Bruyne was with his passing and Haaland with his touches, Nick Pope was clinical with his saves and Newcastle as a whole with their counter-attacking play.

It’s funny to see a team – any team – play against Manchester City. If you support this club, you might get the delusional idea that your boys have a chance. Then, of course, you look to the left and see that the scoreboard reads 0-1 and reality hits you like a wall of Hummers.

“At least we always have Paris”. Or in Newcastle terms, “At least we’ll always enjoy Saint-Maximin.” A Saint-Maximin who, distances permitting, spent 90 minutes in a game that suited his ability best, a very real GOAT aura attracted. So much so that when he got the ball after 28 minutes in the last third, he gently brought it down to the green mat at St James’ Park, he was up against Kyle Walker (already lost, and soon even more) and Rodri, invited them to bite the dust and delivered the goodies.

Only for Almirón, who could land the most ridiculous of punches, whatever that was, offside. Or was it!? Hammy goal for Almirón, can’t ask for more.

Some things you can’t understand.

Manchester City are such a good team that they played ruthless, desperate and winning football the whole game, even when they got up or were even tied. So Ederson roamed the field and came wildly out of the box to try not to clear the ball. That’s why Cancelo once wanted to save you. It’s also why neither John Stones nor Ruben Dias would save you a second time, not with ASM performing like a magician on the Magpies’ lawn and Callum Wilson leading England ahead of the World Cup in Qatar in three months Honcho Gareth Southgate plays time.

Even watching on tape is delayed due to a few pauses here and there – my sister needed some help packing and packing frozen food for his trip – the destination feels enlightening and as an old bum that I am these days, I find it easy To keep it always spoilers at bay.

City likely got away with a penalty which the referee clearly saw but decided not to signal. With that, the game went to halftime. I didn’t because the 12 minute cushion I built up in the first half breaks helped me go almost straight into the second period. Ah, technology.

After fifty-two minutes, Haaland sent a ball to the left post – that is, after being touched by Big D*ck Nick Pope. And speaking of touch, allow me the little heckling here to call out to all the goddam pundits and TV commentators and whatnot to say that “Haaland hasn’t gotten many chances in his career at Manchester City so far.” Scholars say, that sometimes you miss the forest for the trees, and hey, maybe they’re right after all.

It was entirely to be expected that Trippier would score on Sunday. That’s a blast. That was also a free-kick straight into the net for Sky Blue, which he once defended when he was just a teenager trying to find his way into this crazy world of football. Oh, and it was also entirely to be expected that the foul lay with ASM, who were still doing their thing after more than 50 minutes in what was then still a one-sided war.

Not for long, although Pope really couldn’t have done more. Press Haaland one, Hobos zero. Also: Haaland one, Pope two. take that boy

I’m still looping the KDB ball through to Silva for the Brazilian to score. Sublime pass, beautiful touch.

Not so much the never-before-seen red card, although the Citizen folks would have you believe Trippier should receive a seven-game suspension… Bitter, indeed.

It’s already been six goals and this is already approaching 1.2k words so I don’t know if I should expand my report any further.

However, I will leave you all with a very deep thought:

Three-game run unbeaten. Tranmere next in two days. away we go. Howay the boys!


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